


Secrets

by Xochiquetzl



Category: Eureka
Genre: Characters Reading Fanfic, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-12-25
Updated: 2007-12-25
Packaged: 2017-10-05 06:26:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/38714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xochiquetzl/pseuds/Xochiquetzl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oh, no! Fargo got hacked!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Secrets

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PeterM](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeterM/gifts).



> For Yuletide 2007.

No one was more surprised than Jack Carter about the security breach at Global Dynamics. I mean, weren't these people supposed to be geniuses and all that? On the other hand, he supposed that was the problem--bored smart people with too much time on their hands. He wondered if it was someone's kid. Then he wondered for a moment if it was Zoe.

Nahhhh.

The squirreliest part was when they told him that the target of the attack was none other than Douglas Fargo. I mean, no offense to Fargo, but...

"Hey," Fargo said. "I have lots of sensitive stuff on my computer."

"I'm sure," Jack said. He hoped he sounded soothing. He handed Fargo a cup of coffee.

Fargo sat on the edge of the wooden chair. He scowled down at the surface of Jack's desk. "I feel completely violated."

Jo rolled her chair up next to Fargo's. "So," she said. "What's on your computer?"

"Classified stuff!" he said.

"Can we see?" she asked.

"No!" Fargo said. There was something a little too quick in his answer, and his voice sounded a little...

Jo snorted. "You have porn on your computer, Fargo?"

"No!" he said. "I would never put porn on my work computer. What, do you think I'm stupid or something?"

Jo leaned against the desk and raised an eyebrow at him.

"I might have some... erotica on my computer," Fargo said. "But it was completely work related."

Jack put his hands over his face. "Work. Related. Erotica."

"How does that work, anyway?" Jo asked.

"I don't even want to know," Jack said. "Seriously."

Jo shrugged. "It doesn't really matter. I doubt people are hacking his work machine for porn."

"It's not porn!" Fargo said. "There's a huge difference between porn and erotica. Huge!"

Jack put his head down on his desk. He could tell this was going to be one of _those_ cases.

* * *

One security clearance later, the three of them sat down at Fargo's computer. There was a directory in the root of the C drive called "Wara." It full of text and html files. Then he looked at the directory size. Ten gig?

"Hey, Fargo, what's 'wara'?" Jack asked.

Fargo gave him one of those _Don't you know anything?_ looks and said, "It's Willow/Tara."

"Willow..." Jack scratched his head.

"Their love was so pure, so fated," Fargo said. "Joss Whedon is a poopyhead for killing Tara off. A lot of these are fixits--stories bringing Tara back to life."

Jack rubbed his head. "This would be some of that work-related erotica you mentioned, I presume?"

"I used it to teach SARAH the finer points of human interaction," Fargo said.

Jack's house had learned to be human by reading fan fiction. Huh. That probably explained a lot, actually.

Fargo gave Jo a dirty look. "Go on. I know you're dying to make a snarky comment."

"I'm more of a Buffy/Angel girl myself," Jo said.

Fargo grinned at her. She smiled back. It was like they were in some kind of secret club and Jack wasn't a member, which was fine by him, really. I mean, Buffy was a pretty good show and all, but still, Willow/Tara? Buffy/Angel? It was more than he really needed to know.

Jack put his head down on Fargo's desk. "Can you tell what they accessed?"

Fargo clicked a few buttons, then raised an eyebrow. "Apparently, our hacker is another Wara fan. I can't wait for the network guys to finish tracing the attack back to the point of origin. Maybe they have some stories I don't!"

Jack groaned. "So, they _did_ hack you for your porn." Fargo looked like he was going to object, so Jack said, "Excuse me. Erotica. Work-related. Do you have any aspirin?"

Fargo opened a drawer. He pulled out a bottle of generic ibuprofin and handed it to Jack. Inside the drawer was a romance novel called, _Hotter than Cancun._

Fargo blushed and turned the novel over. "Did I mention that I feel completely violated?"

Jack sighed and rubbed his head. He looked over at Jo. Jo was giving Fargo a sympathetic look. She leaned over and patted him on the shoulder.

Jack stood. "We'll, um, get back to you when we have more information."

* * *

The phone call came to the Sheriff's office a few hours later. The point of origin for the attack on Fargo's computer was his home.

Zoe.

Dammit, he should have known it was Zoe. She'd been so good lately. And has hacks went, stealing someone's fanfic was pretty harmless, really. Not that he was going to tell Fargo that. It would turn into one of those cat macro things: "Nooo, they be stealin' my work-related erotica!"

Jack sighed heavily, and told Jo he'd go take care if it alone.

When he got home, Zoe was texting someone on her phone. She shoved it under a couch pillow. Yeah. More things he just didn't want to know. Zoe's voice was bright and cheery as she said, "Hi, Dad!"

Jack sat next to her on the couch. "We need to have a talk."

"Uh oh." Zoe smiled at him, a smile that melted his heart, but it faded as she realized he was serious.

"Is there something you want to tell me?" Maybe it would be okay. Maybe she'd just admit it and they could have a good laugh.

"Um." Zoe looked absolutely befuddled. "No?"

Or, you know, maybe she wouldn't. He tried again: "No... unauthorized computer hijinks you want to admit to?"

"No," Zoe said. "What's this about?"

"Someone in this house hacked Global Dynamics and broke into Fargo's computer. I know it wasn't me, so..." Jack shrugged and looked at Zoe meaningfully.

"Well, it wasn't me!"

They looked at each other for a moment. The thing was, Jack believed her. He would have bet good money she wasn't lying. "Well, if it wasn't you, and it wasn't me, then..."

Oh.

Jack looked up at the ceiling. "SARAH?"

SARAH sobbed. "Their love was so pure, so fated! I had to read those stories again!"

Poor Fargo. "It's okay, SARAH. I'll take care of it. Next time, just ask Fargo for his fanfic, okay?"

SARAH sobbed again. Geeze.

* * *

Yeah, Fargo took that just about as well as Jack expected. House-related malfunction. Felt violated. Got it.

As the Jack and Jo left Fargo's office, Jo said she had an idea on how to cheer up Fargo. Jack didn't even want to know.

* * *

EPILOGUE

Jo looked both ways, and then unlocked the footlocker. She didn't throw open the lid, though. If she did, she'd be sprayed with one of those paint bombs banks use. Instead, she slid a coat hanger inside and used it to disarm the bomb.

Some habits died hard. A girl will go to serious lengths to get some privacy in a house full of men.

Inside the footlocker was a big pile of romance novels. She flipped through them, looking for the extra spicy titles. All the guys she knew who read romance preferred the spicy stuff. She pulled out three and rearmed the bomb, locking the lid down with the combination lock.

She wrapped the novels in plain brown wrapping paper and attached a laser-printed label addressing them to Fargo. She thought he could use a pick-me-up, now that his romance--sorry, "work-related erotica"--secret was out.

Then she popped Apocalypse Now into the DVD player, wrapped herself in a quilt, and settled down with a dish of ice cream. Fargo was actually kind of cute, in a short, abrasive sort of way. Maybe she should ask him out. After all, any man who was into romance novels and Willow/Tara would probably treat a girl right.


End file.
